He Did What?!

If you've ever watched The Office, you've been grateful that Dwight Shrute is not your cube mate. Not to worry though, there are plenty of other annoying coworkers to go around! I'm not just talking about voicemails-on-speakerphone guy, or little-miss-loud-talker next door. I'm talking about all of it... so let the gripes begin!

1. Little Miss I-Can-Do-It-All and No-One-Ever-Helps-Me. We all know her. Her heart is in the right place... but she volunteers for everything, and won't ask for help or invite help from others. She'll allow help if you push, but then she thanks you about a million times how much she really appreciates that you helped her... because of course, she has SO much on her plate. She typically bulldozes other people's projects and assignments, and commandeers them as her own. Then makes a big deal about how she has to do everything. Seriously? Is there ever a polite way to tell a coworker - "This isn't actually your assignment, so you can stop thanking all of us every time we contribute, because we all signed up to do it in the first place." Ugh....

2. Mr. I'm-An-Up-and-Commer. He wants to ride the corporate elevator instead of the ladder, and he's really good at the buzzwords and the sucking up portion of the job. In meetings he's full of fluff, and has these really complex, three-teired questions about the direction of a specific project, or impact on the company's mission in 10-years, etc. Enough already... we're not buying it!

3. The Honorable Queen of Drama. She's in tears half the time, the other half of the time she's mad at someone. If you've ever been "on her list" you know what I'm talking about. She announces to the general vicinity that she's "still mad at you" from a previous encounter... and you better believe just about everything is going to be personal.

4. Mr. Just-To-Piggy-Back-On-That. We know what you said, and we know what the guy before you said, we don't need you to rehash it six times for us. Meetings are long-enough as it is, without you reiterating everything for us ... FYI - it's called beating a dead horse. Quit listening to yourself talk and wrap it up!

5. Miss I'm-Asking-You-A-Question-But-Won't-Let-You-Get-A-Word-In-To-Answer. Wow... that was a long one. She asks you a question, but instead of asking, "What time do you want to meet tomorrow to discuss ABC Company?" The question is phrased as, "Oh my goodness we really need to work on ABC Company! Seriously we have GOT to find time this week to sit down and talk about ABC Company! I don't know how long it will take, but maybe we can find some time in the morning, or maybe in the afternoon, I wonder when we're going to have time, we seriously, really need to talk about ABC Company!" During this entire question rant, you've tried to interrupt six times to offer 10am in the conference room to discuss ABC Company. How annoying.

6. Little Miss In-A-Tizzy. You know her - she's gets all riled up into a tizzy over everything. You've started to say "Take a deep breath" as part of your normal 'good morning' routine. She gets worked up over nothing, and God Forbid you joke with her or tease her in the slightest - because she will take it personally and overreact exponentially.

7. Mr. I'm-Way-More-Important-Than-The-Rest-Of-You. He's never on time for meetings, including the ones he calls. You better believe his time is WAY more valuable than anyone else's! And don't you dare expect him to perform at the same level of everyone else - because he's so good at A, B, and C, that there's no way he'd ever find the time to even complete X, Y, and Z - let alone do it well. Which brings me too...

8. Mrs. I'm-SO-Busy-You-Have-No-Idea. These people usually like to use the phrase "Welcome to my world" anytime you care to share an anecdote about a crazy client, or a particularly chaotic day. You're crazy if you think these people have even one moment of spare time in their crazy days. They are so much busier than everyone else ... they don't even have the time to be courteous to their fellow coworkers!

I think that covers them all... at least the one's I've had the pleasure of working with at some point in my career! I'm sure there are some great annoying coworker stories out there - so, let's hear 'em!